High, my name is Si Wilkins, You may remember me from such films as ...
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Location: Sheffield, United Kingdom

I live in a little flat; have a white linen suit; at times I have claimed to invent colours and work as a government secret agent. I have the disability that while my hair is a luxurious black, my beard grows in ginger. Welcome to my world.

 Recent Guff
I'm not Peter Pan, he is!

She'll hang the baskets on the wall

I am still alive

Still haven't found out who killed the president

Aliens, banjos, linux, xboxes and love cheats

Dependable, ReliantPut your faith in Galeed's Gian...

Video Killed the Radio Star


Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Alien vs Predator Purpose Driven Life

 In my head
I may be playing the following songs

04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
Official Save the Womp Rat Campaign
A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down
Mr T versus ...
Si Wilkins - How To Tell If Someone Fancies You 
Friday, November 05, 2004

I'm not Peter Pan, he is!

Hello folks, sorry for never posting and generally not being on the internet. This is because I am working a bit to hard for my liking at the moment. The big news in my life is that I have just had a massive poo. This has made me more happy than you can possibly imagine, after weeks of little stools of generally dubious consistency I managed a whopper. I am very, very pleased with myself.

Yesterday I went out and saw Finding Neverland. If you want to spend an hour and a half experiencing a full range of emotions from bored to depressed then this is the film for you. Even better, you can watch it in Leicester Square and it will only set you back the best part of 12 quid. In Sheffield you can have a three course meal with nice bottle of wine, go to the cinema and still have 5 quid change out of 12 quid.

I found out that on Halloween two of my female friends got engaged. One of the girls apparently recalled, after saying yes, seeing children with arrows stuck through their heads. The other girl was proposed to on the most evil night of the year while watching a programme about a boy who was half man, half monkey. The age of romance truly is not dead!

# [11:00 AM]

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

She'll hang the baskets on the wall

Well ladies and gentlemen, my stools are just about on the straight and narrow. Sometimes they cause me some concern and I am little more regular than I would want to be at the moment but their colour and consistency are significantly less alien than they were. This is very good news.

I think stem cell research is a very bad thing and should be stopped immediately. I think this not because of the ethical implications of using cells of the unborn for treating serious illnesses but due to headlines I have read such as Reeve's Message From Beyond The Grave. If stem cell research has given mad scientists the ability to contact the souls of dead action heroes what other untold evil may be possible. I call for a complete and total ban now, and while we are at it I would like strictly come dancing to be banned too.

The weekend was very good, saw the Polyphonic Spree at the Leadmill on Sunday night and I have decided they are the best live band you can ever see. The only problem at the Leadmill is the size of the stage, it is quite hard to fit all those Spree-ers onto such a small stage. I also purchased the relatively new Cake album which led to the invention (with the help of Rosy and Charis Corbin) of the No Phone game, an ideal game for whiling away lazy afternoons.

Also if the song Jesus Christ I think Upon Your Sacrifice is played you can relative ease sing the words of Our House by Crosby, Stills and Nash. Hope that's a useful tip for you kids.

# [1:48 PM]

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I am still alive

But only just. Have been quite ill and off work from last Tuesday up to today. I am living on a diet of bread and water as my bowels are in a knackered state.

My stools have been almost all the colours of the rainbow.

# [1:34 PM]

Friday, October 15, 2004

Still haven't found out who killed the president

However, I am honing my skills as a silent assassin. Now one of my heroes, Leon (from the film Leon - the Professional) claimed that the knife was the most skilled weapon of a 'cleaner'. In his own words:

The rifle is the first weapon you learn how to use, because it lets you keep your distance from the client. The closer you get to being a pro, the closer you can get to the client. The knife, for example, is the last thing you learn.

I think that he never creeped up behind bad guys and walloped them over the head with a long handled broom. That is the ultimate hit man weapon.

Had a wicked night out on Wednesday with Kate, Rache and Hugh but Kate Chegdey had to ruin it. Nice one Kate, spoil it for everyone! Also, for anyone I have insulted by likening to the Predator I can only apologise profusely.

That's all folks!

# [1:32 PM]

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Aliens, banjos, linux, xboxes and love cheats

Welcome dear readers to a completely non coherent post.

To all those wanting to see what the predator looks like and also read an amusing article please follow this link. I felt it was appropriate as I quite fancy taking up the banjo. I can play a little but I want to get me a five string but I want to get myself a teacher now I am down in London so I can really annoy my flat mate.

Also in the list of projects of things I want to do but probably won't get around to, I want to try and get linux running on my xbox and I want to finish XIII before I do that (because inevitably attempting to get linux on my xbox will irreparably damage the machine). I would also like sometime in the future be able to walk without a limp.

Tonight Stickland is in town so I will be going out with Crofty, Chedgey and the Stick. It will be a Rosa Rd reunion and I am looking forward. Also a tip for any budding Casanovas out there. If you do own a T-shirt with the words 'Love Cheat' emblazoned across the chest in large letters, try as hard as possible not to reveal this early in the wooing process.

# [11:25 AM]

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Dependable, Reliant
Put your faith in Galeed's Giants
Get stuck in, we're gonna win...

On Sunday the magnificent Galeed Giants, a team I am helping to coach, put 7 past a team in red to secure second place in the Sheffield and Hallam summer league for refugee asylum seekery types. We all got medals and a wicked looking trophy, which looked quite like the FIFA world player of the year trophy (which isn't bad for coming second in a seven aside league). However, it is my firm conviction that if we had put out our strongest team out against the Albanian Fire (the team who came top) we would have walked the league. Against the Fire we fielded by far our weakest team, without any subs and lost 3-1. The only team that beat them were the Red team who we caned 7-2. All we needed was a draw against the Fire and we would have remained unbeaten all season and would have won the league. Still it's better than I had hoped for at the start of the season as I was mainly hoping that we didn't come last.

# [10:51 AM]

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Video Killed the Radio Star

Well today I have nothing to say, well nothing of any interest anyway. Here is a link to my launch radio. My radio on the front page always reckons that I like the Flaming Lips, the Indigo Girls and the Polyphonic spree (which is very true). However on the page which displays the 4 pictures of various artists it always seems to add a bit of a random factor band in fourth place. After doing a few refreshes on the page I found the fourth picture could be any one from this list:

Fountains Of Wayne
The Band
K's Choice
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Beth Orton
Van Halen
Jonatha Brooke
The Rolling Stones
The Trash Can Sinatras

So I propose this game. If you can get to this page via the link you are allowed three refreshes. Each band is worth a certain number of points as listed below

100pts - Fountains Of Wayne
250pts - The Band
255pts - K's Choice
211pts - Creedence Clearwater Revival
95pts - Beth Orton
300pts - Van Halen
200pts - Jonatha Brooke
195pts - The Trash Can Sinatras
350pts - Cake
Any other band 375 points apart from the Rolling Stones, if you get them you lose all your points.

If you get the same band more than once you get a 200 point bonus (apart from the stones where you get 95 points taken off). If you get the same band three times you get a 500 point bonus (apart from if its the Rolling Stones where you end up scoring 5000 points).

Also you get points for combinations.
All female singers (combination of Jonatha Brooke, Beth Orton, K's Choice) 75 bonus points.
All crusty old bands (combination of The Band, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Rolling Stones) 100 bonus points.
All freaky bands (combination of Fountains Of Wayne, The Trash Can Sinatras, Cake) you get 175 bonus points.

The winner will get a prize which I will decide later on. You can enter as many times as you like, I don't care. To enter leave a comment below with your score (there's no way I can check it so you could make it up but would you be able to sleep at night?).

Have fun.

# [2:39 PM]

If you want to contact me then you must be even sadder than I am.